Judging from the photos taken during the year, this is what I have been up to:
Happy New Year!
Many reasons to enjoy my early morning run:
My art is changing direction.
It has already changed direction.
After dedicating most of my creative efforts (not all, because I’ve always done different things “on the side”) to the creatures, I’ve felt the need to change and to move on what it feels like, the opposite direction: from very precise, drawing based, figurative art, to shapeless, abstract, colour based one.
What it started as a holiday, it’s turning now into a regular feature of my art.
I’ve packed my bags and moved to the holiday home.
And that’s such a liberating feeling.
I keep a few sketchbooks that I fill with doodles, scribbles and little creatures, all done in pencil (I don’t often use pencil, preferring pens and markers above everything else).
The fun part is to go back and ink some of this scribbles and creatures – it’s one of my favourite pastimes, a way to relax and unwind while still doing something…I can’t really do nothing.
It’s a curse.
For a Monday I can’t complain:
Now, let’s do some work!
I have been spending most of the week painting, practically ignoring everything else.
That hasn’t happened in a long while. Too busy designing and coding websites, both my own and my clients. So it was really nice to put all that aside for al little bit and get my hand dirty again.
I have been painting something completely different, forgetting the creatures for a while.
(Not really. I still draw them regularly and enjoying that very much).
But as painting goes, I have been playing with shapes and colours, creating interesting abstract little canvasses. I find the activity extremely freeing…is that the right word?
When I paint creatures the approach to the work is completely different.
I consider the paintings of creatures as a sort of coloured drawings really, the drawing is the important element. There’s very little excitement in the painting bit, especially after the first layers of colours are done. In fact sometimes if the painting part takes too long I might get bored and leave the work unfinished.
Also it’s a very precise and in a way restrictive process. I like it that way, I like the precision of it, but sometimes I need to break from that.
Lately I have been looking at different ways to make art, a different approach to projects. I have been looking at art for art sake, for the pleasure to play with the elements (and with that I mean materials), get more visceral and less controlled with my work. I have been looking at using different materials, different subjects, actually getting rid of subjects altogether.
I started with some works on paper, using very diluted water soluble oil colours, playing with shades and shapes and applying decorative elements once the base was dry (it seems I’m not really able to let go of the drawing part, even for a little bit).
From there I moved onto canvas, creating completely abstract work. First the blobs of colours where random and shapeless, then I moved into more geometrical form, trying maybe to control the initial chaos of colours (although calling it chaos is too much, my choices of colours are always very controlled, not more that 2/3 at any one time).
The results are abstract in the strictest sense of the term.
I am going to continue the project in the hope to find my own abstract language. At the moment everything is too…already seen and done.
And I can’t have that. (:)
I have been playing with ideas and images lately, to help me make sense of things and find solutions to problems.
So, I was in the shower this morning, and it occurred to me that the image of the spaceship fitted perfectly.
That minty shower gel really helps, gets my sleepy brain going.
I like minty brain.
Anyway, I thought of life itself as a spaceship, and how all the actions and decision we take, are stirring the ship one way or another.
I thought how, still to this day, I don’t trust myself to be able to sail (drive, sail, I’m not sure which applies to a spaceship) the ship in the direction I want, in spite of having proved myself, again and again.
I might have taken an unusual route more times than most, but I consider myself an unusual pilot, I don’t go for the beaten track, I like to find my own way.
Of course, I consult maps and read everything that could help me on my journey, but then I take my own course.
The problem is that during the journey I often find myself in uncharted territories, unfamiliar places, and that’s when doubts arise. I start thinking that I’ve taken the wrong turn and now I’m in the wrong place, or worst, completely lost.
It is useful to retrace my steps, go through the maps again, put all the data through the ship’s main computer (I don’t know yet how it’s called, but I know for sure it’s not going to be called Hal or Mother) as a way to confirm that I’m on the right track.
So I’m resuming the course.
Make it so.
The joy of holding a brush in front of a canvas – I forgot how much I enjoy this.
I don’t know if this happens to you as well, but I tend to forget how much I love the physical act of painting, if I don’t do it for a while. Time passes, I do other things, some creative, some less, and I forget how much I need to paint to feel alive.
I really have to make an effort, force myself back to the canvas, rearrange my studio, dust off colours and brushes. But then, when I start I question myself, why did I ever stopped?
I don’t know the answer. It happens regularly, so I think I need the time off as well. Take time to re-gather thoughts, ideas, images.
Sometimes I do it on purpose. When I feel the inspiration is going, I put everything away and threat myself to never paint ever again.
Usually the moment I put the colours and brushes away is the moment I want to paint more than ever, and sometimes I go back to it right away.
This time has been a bit different, I’ve started questioning my creative choices altogether, doubting they were the right ones. I felt trapped by this choices, I felt cornered by my own choices, the fact that I’ve concentrated everything around the Creatures, while at the beginning they were supposed to be just one of the elements.
I’ve also felt inadequate, started comparing myself, but mostly my art, to others, more successful artists, realising that my art doesn’t seem to fit in what is considered now fashionable, sellable.
I’ve started painting because I loved it, it’s always been something that I had to do, I didn’t really choose it, it was always with me. But you get to a point in your life when if you want your talent recognised, you want to be known and you want some financial return.
This hasn’t happen yet.
But I’m started to think that it’s mostly because of my approach to the art business. Because I’ve always shied away from the public, because I’ve always had contrasting ideas about it.
So I needed this time to make sense of all of this.
And I think I have finally come up with a decision…
Back to the canvas.
I’ve been having a longer break than planned.
It all started with the summer holiday.
I decided not to draw during that time and I didn’t feel like drawing or painting or do anything to do with my Creatures when I came back.
That means that my little challenge for the year has failed.
I feel like moving in different directions at the moment, experimenting with new techniques and subjects. A few general ideas but nothing concrete yet.
I will keep you posted with the developments.